Been told to write you a letter.

What words do I say goodbye? I've never known how to plan a goodbye, I don't know how that thing of letting go of the one you love so much works. Another mess is when what you want, isn't what suits you. And even though that's my case, with you I swear I never plan on losing. Today your memory was present all day. I remembered us on that trip, eating dinner, sharing that couple of beers, playing, in the jacuzzi, to me, hugging you. To you, clinging to me. They say never finish leaving cause I always allow you to come back. And I know I do, maybe because behind it all, I never wanted you to leave. I never wanted to stop looking into your eyes, hold your hands on my legs and always my best plan was to listen to you before I sleep. I know you hurt me, you didn't love me as much as I loved you, but in the end it doesn't matter anymore. Because yes I still love you but at this point I think I love me more. And if to stop hurting, I must open my hands to let you go; I will. You don't do me well anymore and I prefer to stay like this, remembering you beautiful, reliving that day I met you. That day when I didn't know that someday you would hurt and fail me so much. Do you? I had other plans with you, I wanted a thousand things from you, I never had to go away because you weren't what I thought. How could you love yourself so much! , For what ? If you were going to go. It's not easy to do this, but with all my heart I beg you; don't come back. Don't go back, don't ever think. I love you so much, and I hope they never do to you what you did to me. Because believe me, one of the worst pains I have experienced is to leave with my hands full of so much wanting, but knowing it was necessary, because otherwise and as I say it well: Who has a lot, gets used to others that he will never lack. And today, you don't need me, you don'T think of me, I don't hurt you, you don' t love me. Better this way. Here you are loved a lot, but someday you won't. And it will be better this way. -Mariana Doctor.