One of the loneliest things in a relationship is not being told the truth. You can feel it when it's happening. Something’s gone quiet in him (or her) and he’s not explaining why.
The warmth between you starts to fade. The text replies get shorter, if at all. The eye contact disappears. The connection between you feels hollow.
And then the work begins. You find yourself scanning and watching. Trying to work out whether it's you, work, stress, money, another woman, depression, resentment, exhaustion or something you said to him three weeks ago.
The silence hurts. So, you become a detective in your own relatingshit. You know something's going on but he’s not telling you what.
The really painful part isn't just the growing distance. It's what happens next.
You finally voice it. “Something feels off. Is everything OK?” And instead of vulnerable honesty, you're told you're imagining it. Or you're overreacting and being needy. Or worse, “Just f@ck off!”
You end up carrying two things. The original feeling that's gnawing at your heart. And the shame of having noticed it.
I've sat with countless women who've ended up apologising for accurately reading the room. The person withholding information becomes the reasonable one. The person sensing something's wrong becomes the problem.
Not every gut feeling is right. But the ones about the person you know best often are. Trust them.
So, please, tell me when something's wrong. Don't make me sense it, decode it, manage it and then apologise for noticing it.
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